I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
