I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize