Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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