new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
