Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
