But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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