I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
