I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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