She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
