Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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