1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize