My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I would fuck him just for his dog
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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