You work out of a Hotel?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
