i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize