careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
