thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
