It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
