i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
