I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
