When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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