I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize