the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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