Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
