So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
