Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
