Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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