Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
