The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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