Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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