Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
