I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
