I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Quick, to the slutcave!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
