summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
