I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
