dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
