i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
