Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
