David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize