I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
