my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
