I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize