Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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