It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
