I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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