When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
