Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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