wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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