i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
