But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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