Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
