we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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