I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Randomize
