Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
