My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize