I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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