While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
