hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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