Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
