i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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