Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
soo... how was my night?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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