Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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