Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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