yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
