in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
