everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
