are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The struggles of a small town man whore
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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