Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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