her vagine was all disorganized.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
