I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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