but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize